In order to learn the public about science we’re kicking off the Fun Vampires Summer Science Kamp with this chemistry lesson. Once you’ve mastered this material, you should keep going for math and biology.

R.I.P. - Philadelphia’s own Puzzles the giraffe.

So last week I was discussing a particular Anthony Bourdain episode of No Reservations with a friend. It was the one where he visits the Pacific Northwest and discovers food-inspired tattoos, geoducks and…maple-bacon doughnuts. Yes, maple-bacon doughnuts, but this is not what I want to share with you my friends. I introduce to you nature’s […]

It’s hard to suck with weak lungs. That’s why I’m happy to announce the foundation of the Vampire Fitness Klub. We’re gonna start with some summer runs. Use this gmap-pedometer to plan your trip. It’ll tell you how far you’re going and what kinda hills you’re going over. Start runnin, suckahs. I’m getting ready for […]

On Saturday, the greatest bike race in the world started…
The 2007 Tour de France, surrounded in controversy with no winner from the 2006 Tour de France. So this year they started in beautiful London admist terror attacks they had their first grand depart for the first time ever in London.

In a landmark decision, the Supreme fucking Court decided that a high school student has NO RIGHT to publically display a “Bong Hits for Jesus” banner. Apparently, the implicit advocation of smoking weed is sooooo terrible that it overrides any concerns about Freedom of Speech or Freedom of Religion.
Keep going for a related story containing […]

Today (after 2:30 pm) also marks the FIRST DAY OF SUMMER! 
Go buy some water ice to celebrate.

Remember how the city of Philadelphia had the chance to be youth-forward by giving LOVE Park over to the thousands of skaters that flocked there every year but, instead, the city government did what goverment does and blew it big time by making the terrain way less skater appealing and making skateboaring in LOVE completely illegal? 
Some […]

While researching Reh Dogg videos on youtube, I stumbled upon further evidence that not only do monsters exist! but they engage in spectacular underwater battles. Beware!

Back in the day, when a whole crew of us used to Karaoke-mosh, Brian Adoff was always the best singer. After we were banned from the karaoke place, he moved to Chicago to do some modelling and acting. Now, he’s back and he’s the certified personal trainer bringing you Punk Rock Bootcamp!
Two lucky contestants (one […]

Hey, Internet, I’m talking about math today so check me out, d00dz:
Homotopy Theory from Top to Spectra: “Everything I see becomes a category to me!”
5:30pm Brown Math Dept Providence, RI FREE!

Since 1947, the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists has maintained this symbolic representation of humanity’s flirtation with catastrophic destruction [”midnight”].

(turn pic upside down for special effects!)
Easter is a mixture of two holidays, the secular and the religious. The secular holiday centers on eggs and bunnies, but most Christians also celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. The historical truth is debatable, but the gist of Jesus’ story is this: Dude grew up poor, enjoyed the […]

The Philadelphia Film Fest is coming up April 5 - 18. To get ready, I looked through the entire Program at a Glance, carefully viewing each tiny picture and reading each 20 - 30 word synopsis. My informed, well-intentioned review of each movie, based on this minute information, after the jump.

Here in Ye Olde South Philadelphia our houses are tiny. Most of us have zero back yard or deck. On my block there’s no grass to be seen and zero trees. The day i settled on this house my mom gave me a cement planter with nice flowers as a housewarming gift. the next […]

Gemina the giraffe, a giraffe at the Santa Barbara Zoo who was born with a birth defect that caused a kink in her neck. She’s healthy and happy and has given birth to baby giraffes, so don’t get freaked out.

Today the Australians have won a major victory in their continuing bloody battle against Cane Toads (not to be confused with ‘Caine Toads), as Frogwatch, the Australian amphibious equivalent to the Einsatzgruppen, has captured the legendary “Frog King”, Toadzilla. After an evil witch’s curse transformed the handsome prince into a cane toad, the “Frog King” […]

South Philadelphia Acme, shortly after UFO’s invaded Earth.
©2007 nicholas hans

big sur. copyright 2007.