“there will be free drinks and music and the normal first friday crap.”
Philadelphia Legend and FunVampires Tyrant, Hans Pecans, rocks this upcoming first Friday at Reward.  Don’t sleep on this one, chumps!

Monty python animated a canardian vampire interviewing a dead hippy. Stop wars yo…

If Tanis Half-Elven was to fire a steel tipped arrow at some Burmese nationals while hiding out in the Fuherbunker, you’d have my last week’s movie selections. My movie mash up review this time will consist of Dragonlance (2008), Rambo (2008), and Der Untergang (2004) as a pleasing palette cleanser.

Soon after September 11th, the State Department “Council of American Muslims for Understanding… and the American People” created a “Shared Values” series of public relations videos in order to improve our image in Middle Eastern nations. These videos contain heartwarming stories of Muslims in America but leave out the not-so-heartwarming stories of Americans in Oil […]

You heard it here first. That’s what our secret sources say at FV (foxtrot victor) Cuba Base Camp. We’ll get back to you with any proof. Not that you’ll need it if/when CNN is all over this shit. Either way, rumors are fun. We scooped the world. p.s. RIP Miami!

NBC reporter Michelle Madigan thought she was smarter than the hax0rz at DefCon15 and tried to get the hax0rz to admit on hidden camera that they were up to no good. Of course these computer minded geniuses were not dumb enough to fall for it. So they turned the tables and outed this dumbass publicly. […]

Believe it or not this is a true fucking story! The former Soviet pinko commie Union has planted their flag on the sea floor at the north pole. They’re making a land grab because they want the dead dinosaur goop that most likely is chilling (har har) down there and just waiting to be turned […]

This should really be pissing people off but no one even cares. The United States Army is putting it’s FPS game “America’s Army” in arcades around the country to recruit your children grown men to fight for the rich white guys in charge. Because you know war is just a game and no one ever […]

Alexander Vinokourov has been found guilty of preliminary doping with a blood transfusion after his win on Saturday’s time trial. His team has quit the tour with 2 general classification top places Andreas Kloden and Audrey Kashechkin in places 5 and 8 respectively. Vino who has had a rough tour will probably never be able […]

OK i lied. My main man Dennis Kucinich is putting his interns up for adoption to help fund his fledgling campaign. Even though the man is the sanest person on the Democratic ticket with the best ideas he is also the man with the non-white-soundingest name, has a peace symbol in his logo and is […]

Fuck the 4th of July. This is Independence Day. Live free, America!
Click on for a list of my favorite Americans and a stupid contest!

Every one’s favorite vocal Philadelphian racist, (you need to see his showcase of motorcycles covered in Confederate flags, which is extra odd since he’s a Yankee!) Joey Vento is featured currently on the front page of BBC News. Señor Joey, the owner of Geno’s Steaks is once again in the limelight due […]

you know that your movement is either on the brink of being co-opted or just being torn down as a total joke (that it was trying not to ever slip into) when the NEW YORK TIMES starts covering you.
goodbye freeganism. now you’ll just be known as some stupid thing for ugly chicks (check all […]

In a landmark decision, the Supreme fucking Court decided that a high school student has NO RIGHT to publically display a “Bong Hits for Jesus” banner. Apparently, the implicit advocation of smoking weed is sooooo terrible that it overrides any concerns about Freedom of Speech or Freedom of Religion.
Keep going for a related story containing […]

Again our main man Ed has hooked us up via email with bunch of links (which is good because someone has been slacking). Among them was this gem which is right up the FV alley. Replate.org is a place, nay a movement that is very simple. Don’t waste your food homies. Got some leftovers? Put […]

Back when we were playing Double Dragon and Street Fighter, the pinko commies on the other side of the pond were spending 15 kopeck (enough to buy a small meal) to play games like Konek-Gorbunok which was based on Russian faerie tales and made by the state. Recently the Gaming squad over at wired […]