Monty python animated a canardian vampire interviewing a dead hippy. Stop wars yo…

In order to learn the public about science we’re kicking off the Fun Vampires Summer Science Kamp with this chemistry lesson. Once you’ve mastered this material, you should keep going for math and biology.

Get with the program and check this new graffiti animation by blu. It’s a few steps beyond your average tag….

I poindextered this video from god plays dice. Not too long ago they had a sweet article on optimizing your baby mama/daddy. Math on.

Sami hooked me up with this kid. He can speak for himself.

In case you didn’t read the newzzz today [post, ht], America is at new highs in both our prison population and the percentage of our population in prison. We’ve smashed our records. We’re the worldwide champs. Most overall people in jail - 2, 300, 000! What’s up now, China? 1/99 Americans in jail! […]

Lil Wayne’s been fucking shit up lately. Since his last “official” release “Tha Carter II”, dude’s dropped an insane number of mixtapes: freestyles, remixes, live tracks and collabs. Many are available for free on the interweb but sometimes they have ads edited over the music, “YOU JUST GOT HIT IN THE HEAD BY AN […]

The new Employment Non-discrimation Act was passed by the House this week and added “sexual-orientation” to the list discrimation no-no’s. But this was only passed by removing the protection for transgendered workers which was in the original bill. You can thank the all too typically wussy democrats for that. They were afraid that […]

Soon after September 11th, the State Department “Council of American Muslims for Understanding… and the American People” created a “Shared Values” series of public relations videos in order to improve our image in Middle Eastern nations. These videos contain heartwarming stories of Muslims in America but leave out the not-so-heartwarming stories of Americans in Oil […]

Huzzah! The Mets fell apart and now the Phillies are headed to the playoffs. My vampire ass definitely fears the curse, but perhaps this could be our year!

The internet has been boiling over with poop excitement since the free diy record label poibella released its debut album, compoi0. The album is free to download and contains 29 banging and semi-banging tracks from a variety of “artists.” Poibella plans to release several solo albums this year (also free) and then compoi1 next summer. […]

So somehow I wound up being a theoretical mathematician. It’s a pretty good life thus far but what is it good for? Well, math pays my bills and that aint bad… But there’s alot more than that. Check this video of mad genious Timothy Gowers for a glimpse and, if you’re still awake afterwards, check […]

You heard it here first. That’s what our secret sources say at FV (foxtrot victor) Cuba Base Camp. We’ll get back to you with any proof. Not that you’ll need it if/when CNN is all over this shit. Either way, rumors are fun. We scooped the world. p.s. RIP Miami!

The war pigs Bush administration has recently announced a genious plan to sell billions and billions and billions of dollars worth of weapons to our good friends in the Middle East: Israel (but definitely NOT Palestine), the royal family of Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates, Qatar, Bahrain and Oman. Apparently, these countries […]

Mondays can be hard. Walk it out with this illness.

It seems that the crazy/beautiful, talented and vegan (ie. perfect for me) Fiona Apple likes her dudes old and dirty like Jonathan Ames. Keep going for a hot make-out picture and a link to the full story and some videos and bullshit…

Happy hump day, TVWKers! There’s this british shit where you can watch tv. I’ve been watching this show Peep Show and it’s kinda funny. If the first episode amuses you, they only get better. Remember there’s a reason for goofing off at work. We’re smashing the system. One mind numbing episode at a time. Until […]

me and s. frank are meeting up in chicago tonight so we can attend this hipster convention. friday night only. yeah, spiderland, liquid swords, and daydream nation.
i’m going to eat a lot of hot dogs and a lot of pizza. funvampires hit up all the douchey shizz!

It’s hard to suck with weak lungs. That’s why I’m happy to announce the foundation of the Vampire Fitness Klub. We’re gonna start with some summer runs. Use this gmap-pedometer to plan your trip. It’ll tell you how far you’re going and what kinda hills you’re going over. Start runnin, suckahs. I’m getting ready for […]

Fuck the 4th of July. This is Independence Day. Live free, America!
Click on for a list of my favorite Americans and a stupid contest!