Let’s play good news/bad news: The good news is that I’m not puking my face off this week. The bad news is that you are potentially not puking your face off this weekend because there’s not a whole lot to choose from. I mean, if you wanna puke, you got choices…

FRIDAY

Hydrogen Hellhorses are playing the Khyber with Peelander-Z. Peelander-Z are from Japan and pretty wacky.  9pm. $10.

PiLam has Pterodactyl, Make A Rising, and Off the International Radar. Toga not included. 9pm. $5.

Playloop is a new party at Fluid with Justin Paul, DJ Meeshu, Ross D and Kezner dropping some house music all night long. You can get your deep, electro, progressive & tech-house fix all in one place. Free before 11 if you happen to be on the list. $5 after 11.

The illvibe Collective are back at the M-Room with The Bodyrock. This party is s e r i o u s, people!. 9pm. $6.

My Fun Vampires sure shot pick of the entire weekend is a pretty weird one.  Naked On The Vague (from Australia!) and the legendary Mikey Wild are playing at Brickbat Books (744 S 4th St). 8pm. $5.

Finally, the Seclusiasis dudes come with much bass with their Straight Dope party Upstairs at the Khyber. 9pm. Free.

SATURDAY

Here’s a weird one! The Khyber has Starkweather, Ehnahre, Jail, and Darkside NYC. Crazy. I didn’t even know that Starkweather or Darkside were even around anymore. 9pm. $8.

When you can’t take the metal and hardcore noise anymore, head Upstairs at the Khyber for another installment of Restless Leg Syndrome. Residents Dave T & Ryan Nation bring you the finest in microhouse, techno, acid and electrohouse. 9pm. Free.

The Live Forever with JHN RDN, Designer Drugs and Club Lifestyle is at The Barbary. 10pm. $5.

SUNDAY

Vox Populi are having a record fair gallery fundraiser at The Rounda. Slimey dealer types have to pay the $10 early admission price so that they can steal all the good records from 10am-Noon. From noon until 6pm it’s free and open to the public. Hopefully it won’t be too picked over before I get there.

Later that night, Baller Types can head to the Wachovia Center to see Mary J Blige and Jay-Z. This year there’s gonna be no more drama mainly because my saving account show more commas…peep the ticket prices! $59.75-$350.00 7:30pm.