Real Men Cut Their Steaks With Their Schwartz Ring

September 12th, 2007 by steve t. · 2 Comments

mmmmmmm…….Laser Cut meats! Now if they would have only spelled out mooooo!!! Check out how it is done after the jump!

STEP 1: The Trick
Here’s the key trick. Remove the auto focusing sensor and focus manually. This allows you to get really close to your steak without the focusing sensor crashing. Be sure to count turns so you can put it back where you found it.

The problem is, steaks tend to be too thick to cut with a focused laser… So the closer we can get, the further we can cut.

Alternatively, you probably should pound the steak thin.

STEP 2: Cutting
The first thing you want to do — is place a drip tray and foil down in the cutter. We don’t want to make a mess.

Vector Cutting
10% Speed
100% Power

You may need to do several passes as marbleized fat is more difficult to cut.

Raster (AKA Cooking)
100% Speed
100% Power

This gives the steak that seared in flavor.

STEP 3: Eating
Enjoy eating your People for Eating Tasty Animals Steak! Perhaps you’d want to boil the meat for 15 or so seconds to ensure there’s no harmful bacteria lurking.