In keeping with our theme this week of video game nerdiness, I decided to search out the Mountain Dew® Limited Edition Halo® 3 Game Fuel(tm) and give it a scientific groping and tasting. Then of course we needed to ruin your day by making you read about it. Proceed with caution, Master Chief and Caffeine content ahead.

So first thing first. Here’s the box unopened, procured from a local 7-11 in Philadelphia. They only had 12 packs, no individuals. $4.99. We here at FV will spare no expense to bring you the news.

Check out the Game Fuel byline: “DEW with an invigorating blast of citrus and cherry flavor”. We’ll be the judge of that! Now we examine the can. Master Cheif himself is cold chillin on there, emotionless as ever. He looks like he might be reaching for your game fuel and that motherfucker isn’t even holding a weapon. They might as well have castrated him.

Now on to the scientific tasting. Myself, Joe, Steve T. and Ed gave the Fuel a whirl. The 12 pack was warm so we poured a cup each with some ice. Part of the way through the Office Manager Joe made sure to be taking very studious notes and made sure i wrote down any pertinent quotes.

here are the impressions.

Hans:

•     not as bad as i thought it would be.
•     tasted like a melted slurpee but with nutrasweet instead of the fructose, corn syrup or whatever.
•     teeth hurt almost instantly.
•     part of the way through i started thinking maybe the ice was making it taste better.
•     surprisingly pleasant (the drugs were kicking in?)
•     foamy on pour.

Ed:

•     melted freezer pop taste / smell
•     DISGUSTING
•     want to throw at the wall (at this point the subject abandoned the test)

This is Steve, notice the orange tongue!

Steve T.:

•     tastes like melted cherry lemonade slurpee.
•     carbonation almost flat / weak.
•     would mix nice with Captain Morgan’s Silver Rum or Coconut Cruzan Rum.
•     definitely a stomach ache agent
•     not as syrupy as thought it would be.

Joe, sucking down the sweet nectar from Master Chief’s loins.

Joe aka Jives:

•     smells like freezer pop fresh out of the fridge
•     somewhat gross… oh wait a minute, it’s totally growing on me.
•     not as acid-like as coke.
•     i can’t see myself every buying it, but if someone gave me one again… i’d drink it.
•     i don’t know anything about this game thing. (ed. note: STFU n00b!)
•     i like that the box says “fridge mate”.
•     sweeter than sunkist.
•     it’s kinda sweet and a little innocent.

I think Jives summed it up when he said “it’s kinda sweet and innocent”. I thought this shit was gonna make me want to annihilate the Flood and pwn n00bs but really i just want to chillout and….blog. This is not an aggressive drink nor would i say it’s invigorating. But shit for you fanboys and girls it has Master Chief on it and it’s orange, which is one of my favorite colors so you might as well buy it while you can. And who knows maybe if you horde a box away in 10 years it’ll be worth as much as Crystal Pepsi.