I have no idea where my mom got this news but she says rumor has it that MJ is dead! Hopefully this isn’t the second shady friday death in a row. How many Celebrities need to die on my birthday? UPDATE: Haha mom, wrong Michael Jackson.

Back with a bang (yeah, yeah)! I’m no longer slacking at the beach and I’m here to give you some info on what to do in Philly on this fine Labor Day weekend.

You might ask, what is cyclocross? Cyclocross simply defined is a cross between road biking and mountain biking done during the winter. What that means is riders use a modified road bike with bigger tires for mud clearance and other forest debris that could get stuck. The whole premise is that races last no longer […]

Which do you think is more zombie-like? Which is the worse tattoo? Are the blanked-out eyes supposed to show that the guy is magical and mystical? I think it just makes them look dead and evil and sketchy, and really hungry for brains, which is not exactly the first thing that is supposed to come […]

Fun Vampires Sure Shot Jumpoff Alert!

So yesterday, I was riding my bike to wawa to grab some cool refreshing beverage and I saw a Lamborghini Gallardo with some idiot in it trying to parallel park on 2nd st by Washington. Now why would you be driving that car all the way over there when you are supposed to park it […]

I like to play a game called “WTF is this?”, which involves bad tattoos that make no sense. This particular tattoo is from an “artist” I found on myspace, who I’ll call C. He has provided me with many bad tattoo gems (more to be posted in the future) but I think this one […]

So last week I was discussing a particular Anthony Bourdain episode of No Reservations with a friend. It was the one where he visits the Pacific Northwest and discovers food-inspired tattoos, geoducks and…maple-bacon doughnuts. Yes, maple-bacon doughnuts, but this is not what I want to share with you my friends. I introduce to you nature’s […]

There has been much ado about the hit Sav Rocca was served by Antwan Barnes. Youtube videos, internet messageboards, etc have lit up with the footage and plenty of commentary about it being an “unnecessary hit”, a “cheapshot” and the like. But less people are taking the time to find out Sav’s take on this.

The last time we did this it was siiiiiiiick and this time it’s gonna be even more wildout. Here is your advanced warning on the Friday Night Fun Vampires Sure Shot Jumpoff!

I kinda feel bad for the “Cracker” sporting the small ball sack who pulls up at a stoplight next to the obvious “Alpha Cracker” with his GIANT BALL SACK dangling from his trailer hitch! What an awkward life moment. Maybe he can counter by painting his ball sack to look like brass balls and add […]

During my spare time at work, I’ve been searching the web high and low for the most terrible, horrible, awful tattoos out there. I started a blog (awfultattoos.blogspot.com), realized I didn’t have enough time to update it daily, and have now moved to a snazzy new home at FV! To start off my posting here, […]

Andrew Mackie tipped us that the website The Daily Swarm is reporting about a possible My Bloody Valentine reunion for next years Coachella music festival with a tour following the fest. Wait, did they ever actually break up? I think that they just went on hiatus for a million years. For some […]

Uber Rich idiot Nicole Richie spent a mere one friggin hour of a four day sentence in jail today for driving the fucking wrong way down a California freeway while stoned and whacked out of her puny mind. She could have killed someone but as we all know that means jack shit. Check out this […]

You heard it here first. That’s what our secret sources say at FV (foxtrot victor) Cuba Base Camp. We’ll get back to you with any proof. Not that you’ll need it if/when CNN is all over this shit. Either way, rumors are fun. We scooped the world. p.s. RIP Miami!

Bill Murray could [hilariously] face DWI charges after having been pulled over in Stockholm for driving a golf cart through the city’s downtown area. Drunk. Being the ignorant foreigner that I am, I previously assumed that it was pretty commonplace for people in Stockholm to get drunk and ride golf carts around until 4am. Apparently […]

As you know i live in South Philly, in “the neighborhood”. You don’t fuck with anyone’s shit here lest you are willing to suffer the wrath. Some shitface privileged white fucks think it’s cool to get mad ups by painting directly on people’s houses. This will not stand. Whatever happened to self control and […]

Pocket Shots has created the hard liquor lover’s equivelant to boxed wine. Weeeeeeeeeeeee!

Since things have slowed down here a bit, I figured there’s no better time than the present to get all livejournal/xanga up in this bitch. So recently this Fun Vampire has watching a British show called Totally Frank, on some channel that I think is named Family Room HD. The show is […]

Dear readers. We’re like, uh, totally sorry that we’ve been seriously slacking for two whole days. Please forgive us. Some of us are stuck in Rapture, some are on the road, and some are on shore leave at the FV Beach House. We hope you’ll understand. We are in the process of adding a […]