Everyone’s expecting the advent of spring and Mother Nature gives us a big fat SIKE. But those itchy behinds from your hibernation are on the brink of bed sores and that flab you promised to burn at New Year’s got bigger. That means you want to face the crappy frozen sleet and get out of the house.

Friday, April 13

The Gene Siskel Film Center is bringing back Matthew Barney’s The Cremaster series. Cremaster 1 & 2 start at 6pm followed by the documentary Matthew Barney: No Restraint (8:15). Tickets are $9, $5 for members, and $4 for SAIC students (the film and documentary are separate showings)

It won’t be mk Ultra, but John Vanderslice brings his analog warmth to The Lakeshore Theater (3175 N. Broadway) St. Vincent opens. 10pm / $12 / ALL AGES

Want to test your endurance? Try standing throughout Low at The Metro while their slowcore molasses creates eternity. With Sweden’s Lonely Dear, and Charlier Parr. 9pm / $18

The quarterly craft emporium, DEPART-ment returns @ the Open-End Gallery (2000 W. Fulton, Suite 310). Come support local craftmakers and purchase jewelry, clothing, and other handmade goods. 7pm-11pm.

Local design blog Apartment Therapy and showroom Hejfina are hosting a Spring Design Party. Guest speakers include Helen Maria Nugent, Professor of Interior Architecture and Designed Objects at the Art Institute of Chicago w/ design bloggers Design Boner, Prairie Mod, and Palla Palla. At Hejfina, 1529 N. Milwaukee. RSVP to info@hejfinashowroom.com, 6pm-9pm

Hey, it could be a good time. Rob Swift (X-Ecutioners) plays records at The Darkroom, 9pm / $13

But The Friday Night Booty Call with DJ Major Taylor at Tuman’s is free.

Saturday, April 14th

Like local hit phenomenon Found Magazine, this group brings their Best of the Found Footage Festival, showcasing the “dumpster diving done right” philosophy to the sequential screen. It’s at The Empty Bottle. 7:30pm / $8

The show of the weekend could be at Ronny’s dive bar. Headliners of The Vicious are a Swedish supergroup comprised of members from The Regulations, The Lost Patrol Band, DS-13, and The (International) Noise Conspiracy. Local garage punkers CoCoCOMA (members of Headache City), East Bay-style pop punk Canadian Rifle (ex-Ambition Mission, Fourth Rotor), and The Catburglers open. 8pm

With Daley pushing to make Chicago the “most bike-friendly city in the country,” there’s no doubt of the giant push towards the Chicago Bike Show down at Navy Pier. After munching on Bubba Gump shrimp, check out the seminars and vendors. I’ve heard they’ve added stunt bikes for the kids. But only for the kids.

There’s always protests down at Federal Plaza, but check this one. At 10am, the Carnival and Parade for Fair Food, Real Rights, and Dignity will march from Federal Plaza to the Rock’n Roll McDonald’s and back for a rally/concert. Slated to appear are Zack de la Rocha, Tom Morello, Olmeca, Son del Centro, Las Krudas, HecOne, Condenada, and more. The rage should die down around 4pm.

I know you’ve seen the dysfunctional marching band Mucca Pazza prancing around town like a bunch of contraband dramaband geeks. But help support the Cooperative Image Group at the Humboldt Youth Art Fundraiser hosted by Chi-opolis Hall (2739 W. North Ave). DJ Naomi plays records while guests check out the art exhibition. $10 suggested donation.

The Gene Siskel Film Center continues with Matthew Barney’s The Cremaster 4 & 5. See Friday’s listing.

DEPART-ment is still open. 11am-5pm. See Friday’s listing.

Admittedly, I’m no fan of Mr. Lif, but local hiphop hero Capital D’s (All Natural, pictured) sharp flow and hardened intelligence makes admission worthy. Openers also include Pugslee Atoms, Kinghellbastard, and DJ Intel. At the Abbey Pub. 9pm / $15

If you’re feeling like digging through crates, there’s the WLUW 5th Annual Record Fair. Tons of music to buy along with art vendors, local bands/DJs, and a Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution championship. It’s at the Pulaski Park Fieldhouse (1419 W. Blackhawk).

Sunday, April 15

Local independent publishing advocates THE2ndHAND present The Geek and Dork Tour at Quimby’s. Featuring Todd Taylor (Razorcake zine, Gorsky Press), Jennifer Whiteford (Grrrl), and Mike Faloon. Jonathan Messinger (Featherproof Books) will also read. 4pm / FREE

The Dischord legacy continutes with Antelope (ex-El Guapo) playing The Empty Bottle. Openers are Cola Wars and Coltrane Motion. 9:30pm / $8

Chicago Bike Show continues to get Chicago pumped on cycles. See Saturday’s listing.

WLUW 5th Annual Record Fair might still have some finds. See Saturday’s listing.

DEPART-ment does its final sale–well, until next time. See Friday’s listing.