toot-toot! fun vampires demonstrates its complete and utter superiority to the so-called hipster media of philadelphia (these complete losers don’t count) by not hyping up the retarded pooped! festival.

first of all, we come up with a way better play on the pooped than city paper.

second, even though philebrity attempts to dis the pooped, they can’t get away from the fact that they are sponsoring a show at this god forsaken piece of…well, i think poo get the point. we love the Malcolm McLaren-ness of simultaneously hyping and dissing…of (most likely) taking ad money and setting up a show and then busting on the whole fest! inside baseball, indeed.

fv’s reasons the pooped is complete poop:

1. this whole festival thing is so self-serving and ridiculous. every year or two some numbnuts comes around and is all “this scene has so much potential, if only I came in, put on a bunch of shows featuring local bands and slap my name on it, then i would be famous…er…the scene at large will benefit!” does anyone remember thrilladelphia?

2. a little birdie told us that the thrilladelphia douchebag is sending the pooped douchebag hate email.

3. the organizers had a benefit concert to raise money for the festival but the fest has corporate sponsors. look at that page! you mean to tell me that 1) sponsors are necessary? 2) none of those guys would foot the bill? they had a benefit concert so that bands could play a sponsored concert! that’s kind of out there if you ask fv. if the reason for the benefits and the sponsor is to offset expensive costs then maybe the bands playing it should play smaller rooms. Plus, aren’t most benefits held to help feed starving children or some other noble cause? Maybe to provide healthcare to someone who doesn’t have it? A benefit for an organization that is putting on shows…aren’t all of the Pooped! shows benefits then?

4. the smaller rooms thing might work, since we normally only pay $5-$7 to see the exact same bands at the khyber or tritone.

5. also, if you are going the corporate sponsor route, are you telling me that these fools couldn’t get some indie yuppie or sensible but sporty car corporation to sponsor this thing to cover their costs?

6. puma couldn’t cover it?

7. last time we checked pointless fest and this is hardcore were done with no corporate sponsorship. we are all for more people doing all ages shows in philadelphia but there is a reason that Agnew has been doing what he does for so long…he’s good at it!

the festival has absolutely zero point. all these bands are from philly. they play here all the time. us fun vampires do our part to support them when they do play. but we are not going to get excited about some over-hyped completely sanctimonious festival with crappy corporate sponsorship.

If you have to go to a show, we say go to the outdoor Hail Social show. The Sweendog did it right and set up a FREE show. We’re betting that the dude that gives him his free or discounted rent is letting him set it up / maybe paying for it. Thanks, Bart! Work the system, Joey.