The Playstation Portable. An all in one PMD with the potential to play great games as well. I really really hate it. At the same time, its redeeming qualities make me love it too. Seriously though, couldn’t Sony have at least slapped a second analog stick on there? Read on for my nerdy musings on what could have been a perfect handheld diversion.

Back then, Sony had me. I remember a warm day in May of 2005 as I anxiously rode back on the El during my lunch break, returning from a trip to Gamestop to pick up what had been the object of my desire for the last year or two since it had been announced. I had dropped close to 400 dollars, but there it was, finally in my possession: the PSP.

It was glorious, the premium package. Complete with headphones, a 32mb duo pro, and a nice little cozy to keep my little buddy warm during those frigid Philadelphia winters. Sadly, I did not get one of the first packages that came bundled with the Spiderman 2 UMD, but I was willing to let that go. I had purchased Wipeout Pure (a futuristic racing game) and Tony Hawk’s Underground 2 (Remix!). I felt the promise of a new age of gaming: console-like graphics and gameplay that fit into the palm of your hand. And I could listen to music! And watch movies! And even drink of the largess of the world wide web. Those were simpler times, but it was all about to change…

Fast forward a few months. Wipeout Pure was dull, and Tony Hawk, while staying true to the extremely successful franchise, no longer interested me. Something was lacking. At this point I had even dipped my toes into the forbidden waters of “homebrew” gaming. Nerds had hacked the PSP, thus allowing it to emulate gaming consoles of yore. NES, SEGA, NEO-GEO, it was all there in ROM form, waiting patiently to be downloaded and played on my black beauty. This excited many people in the gaming community, but me, I didn’t really care. After a few games of Zelda (which I can play on my NES or Dreamcast anyway) I became disenfranchised with the idea of playing older games on the PSP. I wanted the real deal…modern games with great graphics that would blow my mind while I rode the 5:30 train to Washington, DC to visit my girlfriend.

So I sallied forward, upgrading my firmware (which made it harder and harder to play emulated games) in order to experience the newest games. Metal Gear Acid (a card based game along the lines of Pokeman) and Untold Legends (top down brawler/rpg along the lines of Fallout) did not deliver. Finally Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories came out. And it sucked. The voice acting was terrible and the control scheme was terrible. I had been pushed over the edge by one thing and one thing only…the lack of a right analog stick.

Instead of being able to look around and move using the standard console method of two sticks (one for movement about the environment, one for looking/changing direction) I was relegated to using one analog stick for both tasks. One is forced to use a shoulder button to switch between functions. Maybe I’m a stodgy old gamer who is set in his ways, but this killed it for me. Would it have been that hard to put in a second analog stick? Maybe so…but the PSP sorely needs it. If you want, you can head over to Youtube and see videos of nerds who have put an improvised second stick on their PSPs using the usb port, but that is certainly less than ideal. In fact it is super crappy. I could go on to mention how disappointed I was to learn that Playstation 1 games would only be available for download through a PS3 console, but I won’t. It’s too hard to see the computer screen through the tears in my eyes at this point.

Anyway, the PSP is the little portible that could, and could still be. It has an extremely powerful processor for its size, capable of making some great games. Admittedly I picked up Metal Gear Portable Ops (a decent game that is actually in line with the Metal Gear genre that we know and love) and Star Wars Lethal Alliance for christmas 2k6. Both were pretty good. Maybe there are improvements on the horizon, but until I stop having a weekly conversation with my girlfriend about whether or not I should sell this thing, I will not be completely invested.

Sony, the truth is out there, and I want to believe. Just give me that right analog stick.