OK, OK. We know that there have been only NINETY-NINE official murders thus far in Philadelphia 2007 but, we’re calling it early because, let’s face it, at least one idiot is going to cap someone tonight. So pathetic.

March always seems like the longest month, doesn’t it? I mean, after Valentine’s Day, all one’s got to look forward to is weeks of brutal cold and a couple of paychecks. And Valentine’s usually sucks whether one’s single or chained. We got a sneak peek of spring last weekend, and we know Chicagoans come out […]

What are you gonna do this weekend? The weather should be nice and spring-like and you should be prepared to go out and have a good time. The Fun Vampires have your back.

America’s most illiterate mayor vetoed an upcoming referendum on the May 15th ballot which asked Philadelphians if ca$inos should be allowed within 1500ft of a school, mosque, church etc. The sleazy, obviously paid in an escalade mayor decided the citizens of the city had no right to be heard on this matter that directly affects […]

First, I would like to apologize about my absence. I (like fellow author Samuel Venuti) am no longer gainfully employed. But this was a choice I have made on my own. You see… I am a graphic designer.

In this video a young, shirtless Danzig discusses his favorite titles from his personal library. Among his favorites are the Werewolf, Lost books of the Bible and Occult Roots & Nazism, which Glenn comments, “every school child should have”. Hit the jump for the video.

That’s right, we here at FV are headed right for the US Post office website to vote for our favorite Star Wars stamp set.(not that we ever use snail mail for anything besides the gas bill) Whichever gets the most votes will be made by the post office! Of course we are loving the […]

Last year, the Phillies organization started offering veggie dogs at certain concession stands at Citizens Bank Park. This year, the Phils seem to be taking it even further. It all begs the question ‘Is the Phanatic vegan?’

mozzer is going on tour. presales start tomorrow (thursday) at 10:00 AM.general tix go on sale saturday or sunday. destination shows: hollywood bowl, borgata (A.C.), and vegas.
full tour dates and presale password after the jump!

there i am, year 2000, sitting at brunch with my girlfriend who is meeting my sister for the very first time. they are bonding big time. because, as my sister declares, “i would totally have random sex with beck.” my girlfriend agrees wholeheartedly. i’m sitting there trying to figure out […]

Partial solar eclipse sunrise at the foothills of the Alps, Italy.
©2007 nicholas hans. These were taken while on a bicycle trip across Italy.

Here in Ye Olde South Philadelphia our houses are tiny. Most of us have zero back yard or deck. On my block there’s no grass to be seen and zero trees. The day i settled on this house my mom gave me a cement planter with nice flowers as a housewarming gift. the next […]

Gemina the giraffe, a giraffe at the Santa Barbara Zoo who was born with a birth defect that caused a kink in her neck. She’s healthy and happy and has given birth to baby giraffes, so don’t get freaked out.

Hippies bemoan opening day of Birkenstock hunting season
It’s been more than 80 years since the curmudgeonly ex-pat poet, T.S. Eliot emerged bloated and bothered from a winter-long buffet of bangers, mash, and Bass to declare April to be the cruelest month. And while that sentiment still rings true for 10th grade English teachers and struggling […]

The Playstation Portable. An all in one PMD with the potential to play great games as well. I really really hate it. At the same time, its redeeming qualities make me love it too. Seriously though, couldn’t Sony have at least slapped a second analog stick on there? Read on for my nerdy musings on […]

Today the Australians have won a major victory in their continuing bloody battle against Cane Toads (not to be confused with ‘Caine Toads), as Frogwatch, the Australian amphibious equivalent to the Einsatzgruppen, has captured the legendary “Frog King”, Toadzilla. After an evil witch’s curse transformed the handsome prince into a cane toad, the “Frog King” […]

You might know Bryan Trackstar as half of The Yah Mos Def. Or, perhaps you know him from his old record label. Or, any of his old bands. Or, his old messageboard (T*, holla!) Or, maybe you know him because you are an avid runner.
On the off chance that you don’t know him, let me […]

My significant other’s move in was imminent and I was charged with getting rid of an old friend before her arrival-my ratty, disgusting sofa. Not having any compadres around to help me move this behemoth, I took care of the situation the only way I knew how…with power tools and booze.

South Philadelphia Acme, shortly after UFO’s invaded Earth.
©2007 nicholas hans

White Denim is a trio from the home of our dear President, and Decider GWB, the Lone Star State of Texas. I don’t know how to describe them really but let’s just say i feel like maybe i had fallen off a time machine