Pictured here is Tiki Barber with some Golden Krust patties. Tiki is currently pushing Mickey D’s with fellow NY football useless running back/media whore Curtis Martin, but before Tiki got extra lame, he was down with the patties. I know FUN VAMPIRES is a Philly based blog, but I like to bring a lil’ New Yawk flavor to the table and anyway, there are two Golden Krust locations in Philly (albeit not in the greatest areas).

So what’s the big deal about Golden Krust?

Golden Krust offers one of my favorite grab-and-go vegetarian (and most likely vegan) treats; the Soya Patty. The Soya patty is a wheat flour pocket stuffed with Caribbean-spiced soy protein goodness, mon. The exterior crust is not greasy so it can be eaten easily while driving, bitch-slapping, flipping the bird/throwing up fishsticks (if you’re a Brit), or just sitting home getting your Al Bundy on. This 315-calorie treat is filling and costs a measly, I-can-find-it-between-the-seat-cushions $1.60. One patty is a great snack, two is a meal, three…well, you’re just a greedy fucker. Golden Krust also offers a great selection of breads and desserts (I highly recommend the Coca Bread) and also sides like tofu and veggies. If you are a animal eating bumboclaat, you can grip a large assortment of dead carcass at Golden Krust too.

Golden Krust also sells a drink called “Baba Roots”, which is supposed to be a, uh, male performance enhancer, if you know what I mean. Baba Roots apparently has an excellent jingle too.

So if you’re ever in the NY metro area, or on 69th St. or 5600 N. Broad, and you spy a Golden Krust, don’t be a batty boy…go in and grab yourself a treat.